Encouragement from God

I read Habakkuk today on my lunch hour and was encouraged. Habakkuk asked God the hard questions:

“Lord, how long must I ask for help and you ignore me? (1:2)

How can you put up with those evil people? (1:13)

However, at the end of the book, he states: “Fig trees may not grow figs, and there may be no grapes on the vines (no extra cash in my bank account). There may be no olives growing and no food growing in the fields (no referral in my inbox today). There may be no sheep in the pens and not cattle in the barns (no acknowlegement of things done on earth). But I will still be glad in the Lord. I will rejoice in God my Savior. The Lord God is my strength. He makes me like a deer that does not stumble so I can walk on the steep mountains(3:17-19).”

Lord, may I be continually satisfied in you….in you, alone. May I not look to find this satisfaction in my husband, not in my kids, not in my adoption, not in my job, not in my church. Not satified in the things that I own or the friends and family that I have. Thank you, God, for being everything that I need.

Prayer Conference Call

I just wanted to say that last night I participated in a prayer conference call with 9 other Rwanda adoption families. All of us are at different stages in the process. Some of us have been waiting for approvals for a year, others are just beginning their wait time. This call was such a blessing to me. It also amazes me how much blessing can be received from praying as a group. We prayed for the Ministry in Rwanda….we prayed for our POA….we prayed for America World…..we prayed for the Home of Hope orphanage…and then, we prayed specifically for our families and specific needs that we have.

Thank you for the privilege of being a part of such a wonderful, caring group of Christ followers!!! I am honored to walk this journey with you and can’t wait to see how God uses this group as we bring our children home!!

I did not sleep last night…

After my marathon day yesterday, my 4th marriage certificate made it to AWAA and the Embassy today. It is in process of being authenticated as I write. I, also, received an email from the Rwandan Ministry saying that as soon as they were able to verify that my marriage certificate had been authenticated, they would email my non-objection letter.

My POA also emailed me this morning telling me that she would be calling the Embassy also to make sure it got authenticated. She also told me that she would work hard getting our referral to us to make sure we can travel as soon as possible. She is a wonderful person. I am so thankful to have her working for us in Rwanda. She truly cares out these kids.

I am feeling a little overwhelmed today with all that has occurred. It seems a little more real to me today that we will have our little boy soon….and I am thinking of all that we need to accomplish before then.; but, am also overcome with love and gratitude for a faithful God who loves me and my little boy more than I will ever know.

Roller Coaster of Emotions

So, I must say that yesterday ranks pretty high up there in my gammett of how high the emotional pendulum can swing. I got a call around 10 AM from our adoption agency that said I have been approved, but that they are not sending out the Non-objection letters via email in the same order as the numbered dossiers; thus, another family had already recieved their non-objection letter that had their paperwork in after me. I appreciated the call because had I seen that I might have freaked out a little bit (OK, I seriously would have freaked out!!) So, I was so excited. She told me that we should be receiving our letter, hopefully, within the next day or two. YEAH!!!

However, around 2 PM that afternoon, I received a call from our POA. She informed me of the same thing, that we had been approved; however, they needed ANOTHER copy of our marriage certificate. Mind you, this will be the 4th time I have sent in the same paperwork. The difference this time lies in the fact that they lost the original marriage certificate and the next two times I sent it in…we just mailed it directly to our POA. This round, though, it needs to be certified and authenticated by the Embassy. Oh my GOODNESS!!! I have an 1 1/2 drive West of where I live to get the marriage certificate, then an hour drive South of where I live to get it certified at the State level. Needless, to say, I could not make that all happen by the time everything closed yesterday. I got the marriage certificate and today am headed down to our Secretary of State to get it certified today, then I will pay $60 (can you believe it?) to overnight it to AWAA by 8 AM, so that they can get it to the Embassy by 11 AM on Thursday. WHEW!!!

Our POA told me that this will not stop the flow of our paperwork to the orphanage, but that the Ministry just wants an authenticated copy of the marriage license. All this to say, that I still have not received an official Non-objection letter. I am hopeful that this will happen soon. Because I am not too optimistic that this will not somehow impeed the progression of things.

I am praying fervently that a big group of approvals come out quickly. There are soooo many families that have been waiting for so long!!

Being Transformed.

Top ten things have come to realize while my dossier has been in Rwanda now for almost 13 months…

1) I am a control freak. Never thought this before. Something I am in process of trying to overcome.
2) God wants me transformed into who he made me to be. This doesn’t necessarily happen overnight. I need a lot of repetition.
3) I am so much more aware of the needs of others outside the US….in particular, the vulnerable.
4) I realize how much I have and how little I actually give.
5) It is not about how will I do God’s will…..it is about will I do God’s will for my life?
6) I need God. Period.
7) It is sooooo not about me. This adoption isn’t about me. It is ALL about God using me and my family to bring him Glory.
8) I have to give me heart to God, not just my prayers request and good deeds.
9) The wait is so much harder than I thought it would be.
10) God has placed a passion in my heart for orphans. This desire will continue long after we bring our boy home…not sure how it will manifest itself yet, but this is only the beginning.

No such movement…..

My last blog post was entitled Movement. That was in April. It is now June and there has been no movement except for the fact that I now know I am number #4 in the long line of dossiers waiting for approval at the Rwandan Ministry.

My dossier wait time now stands at 10 long months. When we first started the process, the dossier wait time was 3-5 months. I have now doubled that.

I haven’t posted for awhile because it is very hard to put into words the depth of feelings that I have at any given time. I swing between extremes: sadness to irritation to extreme impatience to a whatever, whenever attitude. Now, granted, my whatever, whenever attitude probably isn’t the best, but I think it helps me to be able to live and be productive with my family that I now have; otherwise, adoption thoughts would consume me.

In my rational head, I know this is all in God’s timing. I know God can work even bad situations into good things. I know God knows the number of hairs on my little boy’s head.

In my irrational head, I am irritated and annoyed. I know this has carried over into my life in other areas. I get agitated easier now.

This is so much harder than I thought. I know he will be worth the wait, but I just wonder how much longer am I going to have to wait.

Movement

I received encouraging news from my family coordinator today. She said that she has the impression that new dossiers are being reviewed by the Ministry in Rwanda. Of course, I know from the experience of others before me that this doesn’t always mean an approval letter will be coming quickly; however, some news is better than no news.

Thanking God today for some encouraging news!